Week 5 Day 3 in college

19/5
I remember myself being anxious, worried and scared yesterday morning. It was during the period when i knew that I am going to be half an hour for the project meeting! I felt irresponsible and selfish for being so late, and I started to have a flashback of the past in high school when i had a friend who really hated me for being late all the time, she would always criticize me for being late while showing me her red angry bird face, back then i didn't take it too hard, but yesterday as i looked back i felt a little guilty, because i do know that being late means i am not interested and i deem it less important than other things in my life which puts me in a bad light in front of others. So i started messaging my friends and apologizing to them in advance. But thankfully it turns out that i wasn't the only one being so late for the meeting, and the one who waited was, to my surprise, absolutely alright :)

After discussion we went for out Infocomm & Security lesson (which we have it for every Wednesday in this semester ). It was a lesson on Arduino Scratch. Pretty amazing stuff,  its basically software programming through the use of simple drag and drop components/blocks to construct the logic of the software we are creating! We got to have a little hands on experience on working with the arduino tools that contains LED lights and magnets, so what we did was we use Arduino scratch program to control the function of the tool such as setting a certain number of seconds inbetween the intervals of each time the tool light up / blink.  Or by using it to control the frequency and intervals of sound effects that are installed in the program.

Afterwards we had some mock test! I totally screwed it because I had never really went to try playing around, familiarizing the program and knowing exactly the purposes/functions of each components/blocks. My schoolmates however, all managed to do well, and later i finally figured out that they shared answer using whatsapp , but i believe majority did not depend solely on the answer shared by our schoolmate but already have some knowledge on it. To be honest, i have tried to peek through my smartphone whatsapp to look at the answer more clearly but unfortunately i was the last to finish the work again, so the lecturer was just right behind me waiting impatiently for me to hand up my work, and in my mind i was thinking : ' Oh crap this old fella won't stay away for a second!' Too bad he really didn't, so i handed up my work with the wrong solution!
I felt so pathetic afterwards, nonetheless at least i realized what I've went wrong with the program!

Afterwards I went to extra math class alone, but just as i reached there i found my other two classmates/friends ( who told me they're not coming for the extra math class ) sitting there as well because one of them was waiting for a friend who is also participating in this extra class. I was pretty happy that i have got accompany to study math ( Algebraic law of prepositions ) But the thing is one of them who wasn't did not actually offer to accompany me but did for her, it hurt me a little, but oh well i  don't really care, I am not that emotional but it sucked a tiny bit. The math was hard as hell, my friends and I struggled for minutes for one pathetic question that worth for probably around 7 marks only, then we later finally consulted the teacher I know who teaches for our extra math class (only) for help--- the teacher who would only teach in class when we initiate to ask for help but we only asked one or two questions, as for the rest of the other rather difficult questions, however, weren't asked because my friends thought that she isn't capable enough / has poor working attitude. I didn't care and asked her one more question, she wasn't that bad, she knows her stuff well just that she is, in my opinion, a bit lazy.

What i could have done better is to be more punctual and also realize the significance of revision even for ten minutes would matter, and that i should really avoid feeling like crap at not knowing what to do in a test. I will be looking forward to learning more from the different modules i'm taking.

Week 5 Day 2 in college 17/05

Started the day waking up late for school 15 minutes before the class starts. Had to pull out $21 for the taxi fare and then I was late 30 minutes for the first lesson on communication skills. It was already the second time i got late for this particular module, first time was because i waited to go to school with my new acquaintances and then second was this.
 Lesson was fun, the lecturer was informing us about the skills acquired for engaging people with a good speech presentation while i didn't need those because i had enough of these coaching in high school and previous college, what i am lacking is only the experiences!

Next module was database fundamental, starting the lesson with giving us a deeper glance into foreign keys, reminding us that it a key of a table with a column that is a primary key in some other table and INNER JOIN functions- that selects the rows that satisfies both the table in database while the other one called cross join selects all the rows from the 1st table and all the rows from 2nd table and shows a Cartesian product.

Afterwards there was an important test that weighs 5% of the total module, which i believe i have screwed it. Out of the many questions with each that worth 10 marks, i only got a few right. I was stupid enough to not remember these:
----------------------------------------------
SELECT A.name, B.name, C.name
FROM tablename1 As A
CROSS JOIN
tablename2 As B
CROSS JOIN
tablename As C;
----------------------------------------------
SELECT description, COUNT (*)
AS NUMBER
FROM tablename1
GROUP BY  description
----------------------------------------------
SELECT Name, marks+2
FROM tablename1;
----------------------------------------------
and etc. =_=
 To make the matter worse, i was the last to leave the lecture hall being the slowest and most dumb student, I felt so heavy in heart, that despite i studied for it i could still afford to forget them. I will never ever let this ever happen to me again. I am going to revise database and everything else every single day. Even if is boring and even if i got really sick of it already i will still cling on my notes.

Next lesson was computing math! Totally made my day when my friend Vincent, working under airbase - National Service, suddenly whatsapped me offering  2 of his ticket for riding on the propelling c 130 flight to me inviting me to the airbase open house at Paya Lebar! I was over the moon that he know that i am interested because i asked quite a bit about his work in NS before. To top my mood off with icing, I then received a grade A result for my prev math test on Number system!
My day may had started off bad but afterwards the feeling of gratefulness when something good happens was fantastic!

What I have accomplished that I think i was pretty proud of myself of is the fact that i managed to get the taxi in the morning to come to school before 8:30AM the timing whereby my attendance will be temrinated if i still do not appear for the lesson! And i am proud that i have become one of the people my friend would remember to invite to something so exciting and RARE like riding a c 130! ITS CRAZY! According to him, out of 15k people who register online only about less than 10 get the privilege! I am absolutely blessed. I dare not say im proud of my math result because it'll get harder and i'll most likely not get the same result again, i have to keep working harder.

What i am most disappointed in was the lack of discipline to wake up on time, although i felt a little giddy at first but i could have just at least try t wake up and do something about it! Its my responsibility to make myself move and get ready for school knowing that class is going to start super early! I am also rather upset about the fact that i wasted a lot of time chatting on my phone last night, i coud have revised on database and mathematics on logic which has been thought recently only.

What i hope to look forward on 18/05 is being able to absorb and understand fast in the computer system lesson and excel in the extra math class! I hope to optimize my time properly and so that i'll have enough time to blog.

Studying in different college afresh.

I am currently studying in Multimedia & Infocomm technologies in NYP!

Never expected this, thought i would finish my A levels and get into Uni already! Or if  not come to other courses related to design or marketing, in another words, i thought i would go for my passion! But having to keep in mind that i am living in a tiny first world city, finance and infocomm play a more crucial part in developing the nation being the key driver of the global economy, I have decided to go with what that can really secure me with a job. 

This course i am studying has a pretty wide scope of different skills involving media and computer programming, i kind of get to play around with studying totally different subjects in each day at college. Looking far, this course can lead me to a number of interesting courses in Uni including computer science, digital marketing, software engineering, infocomm business and etc. It is a course that develop students a broad-based foundation in software development, communications & networks and interactive & digital media. Integrated into the curriculum are skills training on mathematics, communication skills, creative thinking & innovation as well as technopreneurship!

The school has good enough facilities, nice food places and course isn't too bad, the people there are awesome and easy to get along with as well! Most of the lecturers are incredibly boring and less caring but they always get their message clear about the lesson in lectures or tutorials! I am so far happy with my college, but just do not like to deal with the fact that there'll still be drama and gossips about certain outcast. But that just happens anywhere.

What I hope to get out of this college is the fun of participating in different activities, being active in sports, making lots of friends and etc. But most importantly is to attain a high GPA so that i can further my education to a local Uni to get a degree. But in order to do that i need to keep a diary of tasks related to studies each day, and write an entry of things i have accomplished, failed and also on how i could have done better to make my day more fulfilling and then end with what I'll be looking forward to the next day. I think that this is absolutely an important habit to adapt to keep my mind on track of things i needs that have to be done at the same time helping myself to stay away from "mind wandering zone" where i get drifted away with wild thoughts, not organizing and piloting my mind, making me more stupid. From recording my daily happenings i hope to keep improving myself.

Why I failed in A level route.

I have stopped writing since last year i believe. I wanted to spend my time more wisely and become more productive and efficient with my study plan. I was thinking that blogging is way too time consuming and unnecessary but today, I am very upset with myself that I had got the discipline to stop writing so that I can study better but did not have any for social medias and entertainment like music as well as for my 'relationship'.

Comparing them together, blogging stands a higher value! I knew about the many benefits of writing and stuff yet I've lost the grip of writing to popular mediocre activities which have ruined my life!

With today's advanced technologies and hence the norm of using smartphones, many people do not just try to study hard or create business to conform to our society's expectations but also higher up their status quo through social media platforms by perhaps starting the day with a good quote on twitter or being friends with important people on Facebook or posting extraordinary & creative images on Instagram, etc. I am not afraid to admit that I'm one of the victims tied down by social media. I had spend more time having my eyes on Facebook & Instagram than studying, so much so that I thought they weren't enough, I moved on to installing an dating app to find a perfect boyfriend to level up my life. That was the most shallow and ridiculous move ever in my entire life, and that's when chaos arises.

From that stupid dating app I came to knew this guy called... lets name him 'J', he seemed perfect at first, when I first saw him, I was like "Wow, OMG, is this really happening?", he is a student studying clean engineering in NTU, 190cm,  has a big house and car, fit & good looking with funny and charismatic character. Awesome right?  He drove me to places and we spent a lot of time at his place, even met his family like 4 times already, one of which was on his birthday, I felt very special and I thought he's the one because no guy has ever brought me to his family before. Sounds like a fairytale aye? But here's the ugly truth: He was very obsessive, CONTROLLING and sexually manipulating. He was also the first boyfriend who raised his voice at me just because i was a little bit stubborn. Totally awestruck!

I had to sacrifice my Saturdays just to be with him, I had to stop being me to become the ideal girl he had been looking for or in another words to become similar like his ex girlfriend - he expected me to be good at cooking, to have driving license, be fashionable, wear light make up (minimum), be stop grade A student in college, have abdominal muscles, have enough money to travel the world with him and expects me to be sexually active with him most of the time. I tried to improve myself for him and i trained really hard then, I have conformed. But he didn't say it to me of course, it was him dropping the hints bit by bit trying to signal me what went wrong because he kind of figured out that I was a little different from what he expected while I didn't expect much from him.

Wasn't he a little too impatient and inconsiderate? and.....cocky?  To ask for this much?

Studying for A levels trying to get at least a decent 'D' grade was already a huge struggle, plus i had to balance my studies with Chinese martial arts when i was that college, Chinese martial art wasn't easy, practicing the routine was necessary and I had to spend reasonable amount of time stretching and warming up everyday, it was enough to pull me out from wanting to revise for my subjects! Yet i had to fulfill his needs at the same time!

He and I only finally broke up in mid year and I thought there was still enough time for me to catch up but NO. Despite the effort i made studying many hours in the library each day before final exams, I was screwed. It was also for the fact that i had very little luck, I prepared tons of notes necessary and what came out in exam especially for literature, turns out to be something strangely difficult to analyse. Moreover, having the knowledge weren't enough, its absolutely crucial that we'll be able to do it fast, writing a 6 pages essay in  2 hours for an instance. Well, I failed in doing that because i lacked practices and spent my time on smartphone and boyfriend.

I mustn't say that the break up caused me any exasperating heartbreak or any emotional pain such that i could not do well in the exams but it was because of all the time that can never be retrieved back that i have lost that i could have used to revise my work better and practice writing more essays.

Time moves on. Life moves on. Everybody moves on.

Moral of the story is to not jump straight into a relationship first, set priorities right and know that it is important to know to to deal with people in life to survive, if you ever feel any trepidation with the person, pause right away and get rid of the person in your life if necessary.

 Know who and what is worth your time.