Regrets

You must be wondering why I am posting today because I am still having national exams...Well I think I had enough of studying today and would like to take a break, moreover I am so excited about posting on my very new blog! Here it goes:

Time has passed and months have gone, today is already November. Everybody in this world are saying that "Time flies fast!" in every coming of the end of the year. Most of us will miss the good times we had and reminisce about the busy days we have managed through, and of course, the times and days we clearly know that we have wasted cruelly when we touch our hearts and close our eyes and reflect deeply. In this post I am going to write about my wasted days.

At the start of the year I was just swearing to the sky that I would definitely put in my best efforts and work hard for the coming national exams and I even fantasized about how my mom would be so proud of me when she see a row of A's on my report book with shimmering glitters in her eyes. I was absolutely proud. However, what I imagined was purely a delusion, an imaginary thing that would never happen at all. During the beginning of the year I was just engrossed with my computer game Adventure Guest World ( I bet many of you know what that is? It appears on advertisement banners at times, its a virtual world where chronicle events occur, a place to fight monsters and achieve good weapons and armors and level up, this game is best known for its players members get to own a huge variety of classes E.g Necromancer, Soul Cleaver, Shaman,  which players can use different skills to defeat enemies, such as monsters.) where I was level 54 ( most stupid and harmful game EVER -I was hacked there because I was naïve enough and I was so unwise and idiotic that I've spent hundreds of dollar on the game ) and from that stupid game I came to know a stupid guy, called Nathan, one year younger than me, who I thought was my prince charming and dated him for a long time ( I wouldn't say how long...but to me, was like ages) (I was so happy that I was mentally planning to visit him someday ). He's from Texas and I fell for him because of his friendliness and "innocence" .Thanks to him I wasted ample of time trying to know him better and I even tried to help him with his schoolwork, he then repaid me my kindness by dating and flirting with another girl from France who is younger than him on the game after I was hacked ( the girl he flirted stalked my FB and told me everything, and she even told me he wanted to kiss her everywhere < makes me puke ) Of course I dumped him ( to also fulfill that girl's wish) .This guy was part of the reason, and also the game, the reasons I wasted my time leading to me not able to focus on my studies.

Next, the game called Meez, another virtual world where players can customize rooms and their characters and make new friends, this game is slightly better that the previous one as I spent lesser money on it and I haven't got any heartbreaks from any dates on this game. I came to Meez to widen my social circle and chat with people (However, I didn't know that actually chatting with strangers is the best way to make me feel down ) Conversations there were meaningless and would obviously be forgotten the next day. Also, this game is full of rude and immature punks who would engulf my brain cells with negative thoughts and influence me in becoming a failure like them and  in the game users are allowed to play their own music ( this is where the worst part comes in, people there play crappy music like metals) . However this game is good due to its 3D graphics and animations + background display. I wouldn't go back there again though! Same goes to Kik, a chatting app where countless perverts and crazy people would threaten people. ( I wouldn't want to talk more about Kik, makes me sick )

Moving on, the next huge mistake I made is the constant searching for motivation. I was so crazy over my future, I went to find for many career quizzes, personality tests for suitable career and also went to YouTube to search for motivating videos, talks and looked for inspiring posters. I overdone it, spending so much time trying to motivate myself that I lost all the time I had which could be better spent on my school revision. But Emma Watson ( I learnt about her through research ) is still my inspiration ever since I came to know that she did really well for all her ten subjects for GCSE and that she achieved 3 As for her A level and recently got graduated from Brown University. Despite of her hectic schedule as a movie actress, she juggled her work and studies well, she even made room for exercising in her timetable. But finding all that motivations only lifted my spirit for studying but didn't improve my grades. It was as good at wasting time. I should have been STUDYING.

Lastly, one of my biggest regrets is to have studied at home throughout my whole life until this month. To me, home is the most comfortable and distracting place ever. Home should never be an option for me to study, even with my smartphones and TV remote controls all hidden, being a creative person, I would still get distracted, I would look at the mirror to spot my acnes, look over my window to stalk my neighbors, go to the kitchen to find food or even go to the sofa and take a long nap. I would say that public library or a quiet air conditioned café is the best place to study. In that environment, I get to focus better because I know there are many serious working people around me who are also studying in the same room and that I have to behave properly in the public, so I would be most productive. But 10 months have passed and to be honest, I have never scored really well before in any of my preliminary exams paper in school, while all my classmates did... ..now its all too late. I wonder if the invention of rewinding time machine in science fiction films would ever become possible in real life....But I would be one of the most selfish person in the world if I wish it existed though.


I shall write till here, I haven't actually shower yet and its passed bedtime already! Will post again soon! :)